Insecurity is something we all struggle with. It is essentially lacking a sense of stability and certainty with oneself, and also a lack of acceptance of oneself. Insecurity can be associated with specific traits about oneself, or a general feeling, or a specific situation or relationship. Fair warning: this is going to get personal. A major example that has been coming up for me is around how I look in pictures and videos. I know this may sound silly, and everyone tells me "oh, we are all our own worst critics" but this is a pretty big hurdle and barrier in a lot of ways for me. I run a business in which I must put myself out there and literally show myself if I want to help people by sharing my message. But I constantly nitpick myself and compare myself to others, beating myself up and worrying that I might look "weird" or "stupid" which is completely my own projection. Not only can I not control how others respond to me and what they think about me, I also have no idea, and truly the opinions of others are none of my business!
Know that insecurity is part of the human experience, and it is necessary. Feelings of insecurity can give us a lot of important information about ourselves as well as what we are experiencing in our environment. It serves both a protective and evolutionary function. When we recognize we are feeling insecure in some way, we can then take steps to better understand our experience, and learn and grow in the process. For me, I know that insecurity shows itself in very specific ways, such as emotional reactivity, shutting down, being defensive, excessive worrying, or feeling jealous. It also shows up in my body, including tension, forgetting to breathe, stomachaches, tightness and butterflies in my chest, brain fog, and fatigue. It's pretty incredible how the body responds to threats, which is one of the reasons why it is so important for us to take care of the physical and emotional parts of ourselves! Your body has a response to everything, and even a "non-response" is a response - more on this another day...
For now, pay attention to the ways you may be experiencing insecurity. You may not always be able to understand it, but see what you can learn from it, give yourself the love and positive self-talk you need, improve and change what you can, and then release it.
Some additional positive messages for you on insecurity...
You are unique and amazing and wonderful and you matter.
Your gifts are just as valuable the gifts of others, and the gifts of others are just as valuable as yours.
When struggling with yourself and having trouble discovering your strengths and gifts, listen to what others see in you.
Regardless of how insecure you may feel right now, it will get better if you show yourself some love and compassion.
Everyone is fighting their own battle with feelings of insecurity. You are never alone.