Full disclosure: some days I feel like I just want to crawl into a hole and hide, give up on my dreams and goals, stop fighting for what I want, and take the easy road. These days typically bring feelings of exhaustion, self-doubt, insecurity, frustration, hopelessness, and helplessness.
Today is one of those days. The negative committee in my head has shown up for a meeting, and my body is telling me to go back to bed.
I could go on and on about how crummy I feel physically, mentally, and emotionally. I could tell you all about my negative thoughts and pissy attitude. But I think you get where I'm coming from. You know exactly what I'm talking about.
Guess what, you know what I'm talking about and you get it because we are human beings who just have shitty days sometimes. We struggle. And when we do, it can feel like the world is against us.
As much as I am struggling with my own stuff today, I'm here to tell you that the world is not against you. You are not a victim, you are a capable human being who has the ability to come out of these days on top. I'm here to tell you that these days are 100% necessary for growth of any kind to occur. So what do I do to get through days like these?
The most important thing I do on these days? I allow them to happen.
What I remind myself on these days is that I need these experiences in order to appreciate the good ones. I need these days to remind me of all the things I need and want, of all the things I am grateful for, of the opportunities I have, and how damn good it feels when I am feeling the opposite. I need these "tests" to tell myself and the world that I am serious about my goals and dreams, as well as the quality of my life.
At the same time that I am reminding myself that these days are necessary, I am listening to my body and what it needs. I may engage in a little extra "self care" whatever that might be. You'll need different things on different days, so do whatever you need to and whatever feels good, as long as it's not going to harm you in some way.
And while I am doing everything I can to allow these experienced to happen and listening to my body, I am making sure I don't get too caught up in the negative thoughts and feelings. While these thoughts and feelings can be extremely helpful and provide us with necessary information about ourselves and what we need and want, it is easy sometimes to go down the road of internalizing the experience and believing the negative committee when they tell you that you suck at life. Don't do it. Don't go there. Instead, get curious. Ask yourself why you might be thinking about feeling this way. What is it really about and again, what do you need?
Finally, you MUST tell yourself throughout these days that it is TEMPORARY. That it will pass at some point, and you will feel better and will have learned from that horribly shitty day. Things will always get better. If you tell yourself this enough, you will believe it, and if you believe it, it will always be true.
"Basic Happiness" means allowing the "bad" with the "good" and knowing and appreciating the full range of human experience. Life is a rollercoaster. Strap yourself in, hang on tight, and remember to enjoy the ride.
Be well. Happy Monday.